


Terrace House: The Good Place

by DiningattheRitz



Category: Terrace House, Terrace House: Aloha State, The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Author also has ADHD, Eleanor has ADHD, Eleanor is Bi, F/F, Fluff, Ft. Bambadjan because there’s aren’t lots of male characters, Hate to Love, Her actress is canonly ADHD!, Michael is the lead commentator y’all, Multi, No Chidi hate, Slice of Life, Tahani is a lesbian, blatant disregard for actual Terrace House Rules, or Jason hate for that matter, so eleanor’s is totally based off of mine, thank god
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-04-21 11:25:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14283891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiningattheRitz/pseuds/DiningattheRitz
Summary: Eleanor is stuck in a Mansion with hidden cameras, five hot roommates, and no script.Oh, and they’re in Hawaii.Or, the Terrace House au no one asked for.The core four are on a Japanese tv reality show called Terrace House. Because maybe the real bad place, was reality tv.





	1. Week 1: Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y’all! I originally flung this up before I could lose my nerve, and consequently made quite a few errors. 
> 
> Chapter one has now been edited and updated, hopefully fixing some of the readibility, formatting, and writing issues. 
> 
> Thank you for your patience! This is my first fic, and in so happy to experience everything that comes with for the first time.

 

     The first person to make it to The House is a petite blonde woman who drops her luggage unceremoniously outside the door, and walks right on in. 

     She strolls in through the front breezeway, not bothering to take off her shoes,  and makes a beeline for the gigantic glass top table.  Waiting at it are six plastic high top chairs \- three for the boys, and three for the girls. 

     Seeing as she’s the first one there, she decides to take a peek at the house she’s to call home for the foreseeable future. 

     The room she’s standing in is a true feat of modern architecture. Enough cream carpets, minimalist furniture, and an open-air floor plan, that makes it look like a centerfold from an Ikea catalog. Yet it has enough pops of blue and green, natural hardwoods, and fashionably comfortable floor pillows to make it both beachy  _ and _ bougie. It’s the kind of house that took a production team all of five minutes to find on a Pinterest vision board. 

     The wind off the sea (and attached pool) whips lazily at the gauzy pastel blue curtains attaching the living room area to the balcony.

     Because of course there’s a balcony. 

     Before  the woman can do any real snooping,  though, she’s interrupted by a young man knocking on the doorframe. 

     He’s wearing some  sort of business casual outfit, contrasting painfully with the vibes the set crew worked so hard to cultivate. He’s got some sort of college professor aesthetic going on, with a button up, nerd glasses, and khakis. It really shouldn’t be as hot as it is. 

    “Hello! The door was open, so I let myself in” he says, laying his matching black luggage in an orderly pile in the breezeway. 

     He toes off his shoes, (some kind of fancy leather ones, impractical for the Hawaiian sand and surf) and lines them up in their designated spot next to the door. She’s actually rather surprised he didn’t bring a briefcase with him, just to complete the look.

     He walks over to the massive table, and extends his hand to her.

     “I’m Chidi Anagonye, it’s very nice to meet you.”

     She returns his rather gentle handshake, and introduces herself. 

     “Eleanor Shellstrop!”

     He has a slight accent to his English, though she couldn’t say where from. Canada maybe? Not Australia, but maybe some European country? Whatever, it only adds to the nerdy professor thing he’s got going on. And regardless, she’s kind of into it. 

    Call her basic, but accents have kind of always done it for her.

     As she and Chidi take their seats, another woman walks in. 

This time, the new woman seems to have gotten that they’re in Hawaii and is dressed accordingly, in a flowy floral blouse and crisp white capris. 

     She’s definitely no Jimmy Buffett, but it’s at least better than Chidi. 

     She sets her sandals by the door, and strides into the room, a big smile on her face. 

     “Vicky Sircar, nice to meet you.” She leans over and shakes both of their hands, and takes her seat next to Eleanor. 

“So…” Vicky begins when it becomes clear that neither Chidi nor Eleanor intend to initiate the small talk.

     Eleanor lets Chidi do most of the chatting since she’s struggling not to go lay in one of the like, three hammocks she’s seen so far. They look too fucking comfy! She’ll curl up with a trashy gossip mag and the fuzzy blanket she saw on the couch, and make a whole afternoon of it. She’s already imagining the perfect set-up that would discourage people from trying to sit with her. Could she maybe booby-trap it? That would be hilarious.

     She’s torn from her daydreaming as another man enters the house. This one looks like he’s got the island spirit as well, with electric yellow swim trunks, a muscle tee, and a neon green snapback. T his new person tosses his luggage onto Eleanor’s haphazard pile, ignoring the orderly line of the others bags. 

     Leaving his sandy flip flops on, and makes his way towards the table. 

     “Woah, this house looks dope! Like it could be Mariah Carey’s house on MTV Cribs!”

     Eleanor snickers as Chidi’s eyes go round, and Vicky’s smile drops for just a second before she recovers and starts the introductions again. 

     The man introduces himself as Jason Mendoza, musician and aspiring DJ.

     Eleanor decides that she rather likes Jason.  He’d even be pretty hot if he could keep his mouth closed. Not that she knows what  _ that’s _ like.

     Another person walks in just then, saving the group from listening to Jason’s explanation of his career trajectory. He had just dropped the word ‘pre-famous’, and Eleanor was debating  whether or not to let him join in on her Hammock idea. He seemed like he’d enjoy the finer things in life like cushy blankets, the ocean breeze, and getting utterly wasted. 

     Vicky quickly busies herself with welcoming them  both over to the table, and once again takes it upon herself to introduce everyone.

     This guy seems rather nondescript in his khakis and a tee, especially when compared to Jason.

He introduces himself as Bambadjan Bamba, a human rights activist. Chidi and Vicky perk right up at that, and Eleanor starts eying the hammock again.

Just as Eleanor is about to grab Jason and make a break for it, the last of their six-person household arrives. 

     Dropping off her (matching) luggage, the woman pauses dramatically in the doorway for the camera to get the entrance. Eleanor immediately notices three things about the woman.

     First is her mermaid-length hair that seems to be straight out of a shampoo commercial. It’s that impossible tv-style soft and curly, looking a little windswept from the breeze. It’s the complete opposite to Eleanor’s own frizzy mess, who’s curls drooped like, five minutes after leaving the house.

Two, she’s tall. Like, ridiculously tall, with long legs that make her as tall if not taller that than even the men in the room.  And because the world isn’t fair, she’s obviously  VERY well proportioned. More like a weird sexy giraffe and less like the gangly teen look it  _ should _ give her.

Third, is that she’s utterly, devastatingly, gorgeous. 

The woman doesn’t just walk into the room, she works it.

All eyes are on her as she struts up to the table, her long, floral dress billowing behind her.

 

     She addresses the room with a nod of her head and a million watt smile. 

     “Pleased to meet you, I’m Tahani Al Jamil.”

Eleanor notes with a twinge of annoyance that the woman, Tahani, has the kind of British accent that all Americans love.

     She’s not sure what ‘posh’ is, but it’s the word that springs to mind as Tahani sits down with picture perfect posture, hands folded, and ankles crossed. 

     Tahani’s speaking again, but Eleanor is too busy staring at those lashes. They’re the kind that only baby boys and cows are blessed with and, horrifyingly enough, they don’t look remotely fake. 

Refocusing, she realizes that the introductions have stopped, and it’s now her turn.              

 Tahani is staring right at her, and is holding out a perfectly manicured hand. As Eleanor clasps it, Tahani leans over to kiss her on both cheeks.

The touch is feather light, and as she pulls away, the scent of rose water lingers. 

“Wow,” Eleanor starts “I literally cannot tell if you just kissed me, or the air around me.” 

Tahani giggles, “Yes, that’s rather quite the point!” and gives her a wink before moving on to the next victim.

‘This is going to be rough.’ Eleanor thinks as she watches the rest of the house mingle.  She’s here to find potential romance with one of these three dudes, and none of them seem exactly promising. If anything, she’ll have to wait and see who Tahani sets her sights on, and fight Vicky for the leftovers.

It’s going to be intense. Six months in a house with these people, all the while being filmed for a reality show, and trying to ‘find love’?          

Whatever.

She’s in Hawaii for free, staying at a mansion, on a tv show, and she’s definitely gonna get laid. 

 

Could this literally be heaven?


	2. Day One, Part Two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Room choosing, Nudity, and giant inflatable doughnuts.
> 
> The crew is settling in at the house, but differences in personalities are already beginning to show...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! 
> 
> Thanks for waiting. This is a short one, but after the panel interview, I have a 3k chapter coming up!   
> It's already written, just waiting on editing from my darling beta.
> 
> Enjoy!

     After making enough small talk for the hidden cameras and cameramen, (that they studiously ignore), the new housemates head upstairs for room assignments. The girl's room is on the third floor. It contains another living area, a traditional Japanese tatami room, and a well-furnished office. The boys are on the second floor and have yet another living space, a workout room,  and a “playroom” that has an entire multimedia set up. 

     Opening the door to the girl's room, Eleanor immediately identifies the two sets of bunk beds. 

“Oooh! Top bunk!” Eleanor squeals, and makes a beeline for the coveted position and scrambles up the ladder immediately. 

 

     “Bunk Beds, how darling!” Tahani says, placing a delicate hand on her chest.

“One feels like a child again. Naturally, I’ve never slept in one myself, but I’ve had to mediate many a spiff between my darling friends the Olsen’s when they had to share an on-set trailer.”

 

     Rolling her eyes, Eleanor remembers from their introductions that Tahani is this season’s fashion model. Among her many other credentials. 

She had gone on about herself and her many celebrity contacts for ages. 

     For someone so seemingly prim and proper, surely it’s considered ‘uncouth’ to talk about oneself so much? 

And for so long.

 

     “I’ll take whichever one you don’t want, Tahani!” Vicky says sweetly, and so Tahani picks the top bunk that faces Eleanor’s. Vicky chooses the one underneath  Tahani . 

(If any of the group is a snorer, Vicky thinks, her money is set on Eleanor)

     Vicky then offers to go bring up their luggage, and so Eleanor and Tahani are left in the room by themselves. 

      There’s an awkward silence, but Eleanor prepared for this. She binged all the available seasons of Terrace House on Netflix before she came here, natch. Therefore, she knows all the traditional questions to ask.

 

     “So Tahani!” Eleanor says, “what made you want to be on Terrace House?”

 

     “Well actually,” Tahani says as she brushes aside her delicate skirts to take a seat on the light blue bedspread of the bottom bunk. 

“I’m wanting to break into the American Modeling scene, and my agent decided this would be the perfect opportunity.” 

     Seeing Tahani’s (yet again) perfect posture, with ankles crossed and hands folded, Eleanor is suddenly conscious of her own slouched shoulders and splayed open legs. 

     Sitting up a little straighter, (but refusing to close her legs. This is her damn house, she can man-spread if she wants) she nods and hmm’s along politely as Tahani talks about the modeling opportunities in Hawaii, and how they’re different than London’s.

     Eleanor’s Adderall wore off about an hour ago, and consequently, she’s antsy as fuck.

How in the world can this girl talk about herself for so long? Eleanor’s not exactly shy herself, but she can’t stand those bubbly, chatty types.

    One can only nod and smile so much, and so Eleanor decides to make a break for it.

She puts on her best ‘I’m a totally a grown adult and definitely has a typical attention span, yessir’ smile to disguise her exit.

      “How about we try out that pool!” Eleanor suggests.

Hopefully, Tahani will find another poor soul there to entertain, and Eleanor can splash around and look hot. 

     Then, Vicky finally returns, panting heavily in the island’s humidity, dragging Tahani’s (matching) luggage set into the room. 

“Here you go Tahani!” Vicky says with a smile. 

     Tahani is busy monologuing to Eleanor about the time John Mayer wouldn’t stop hitting on her, and so she just waves Vicky off with a “yes, of course”, and goes right back to chatting. 

     Vicky looks taken aback, but just lets out a huff, and trudges back down to drag up Eleanor’s luggage

As Tahani stands to put her belongings away, Eleanor is struck once again by the sheer size of her. 

     Tall isn’t the right word. ‘Tall’ is something a lanky teenager could be. ‘Lofty’ would almost be a better choice. She towers over Eleanor and Vicky, and most of the men in the house too. But it doesn’t end up intimidating. If anything, her height is just as glamorous and dramatic as the rest of her. Everything she does just naturally draws your eyes and attention to her. 

She could have a promising career as an Amazonian warrior goddess if the modeling doesn’t take. 

Or a Disney princess. 

     Honestly, if Tahani told Eleanor that woodland animals did her hair and makeup this morning? She would instantly believe her. 

     Vicky arrives back with Eleanor’s luggage, a cobbled together set that Eleanor’s had since she was thirteen. 

Eleanor thanks her, and unzips the main suitcase. 

     “Well ladies,” Eleanor begins with a conspiratory smirk, “why don’t we go ahead and make a good first impression on the boys.” 

     After digging around in the bag, she pulls out her bikini. It’s sufficiently slutty, with a hint of sophistication. The perfect combo for Netflix TV audiences, and more than enough for their male roommates. 

She had needed  to get a new one for the show. Her old suit was a Target haul and quite a few years old. Definitely not tv material.

     Luckily, she and her old roommate Veronica happen to be the same size. The suit looks better on herself anyway, Eleanor thinks. And she’s content to let Veronica think she’d lost it or something. Their lease was up anyway, so even if Veronica finds out she “borrowed” it, there's literally zero consequences. 

 

     Eleanor starts stripping in the middle of the room, and she sees Tahani’s eyes go wide. Tahani quickly makes herself busy finding her own swimsuit, and she’s scurried off to the joined restroom before Eleanor even manages to take off her bra. 

_      Maybe she’s one of those never-nudes? _

     By the time Eleanor’s finished changing, Vicky is still stuck waiting for Tahani to come out of the bathroom, so she can get changed herself. 

So Eleanor just grabs her pool bag and heads downstairs by herself. 

     The pool is something else. It’s not olympic sized, but still rather large. It even has the Terrace House Logo emblazoned on the floor of it. It also has a number of floating rubber balls that light up and slowly change colors. 

     Eleanor isn’t the first one to arrive; Jason has found the pool floaties and is now paddling around on a giant inflatable shark. 

Eleanor waves hello to him, and chooses the doughnut floatie for herself. The blue sprinkles match perfectly with her top, and she decides that when the other boys come out, she’ll be lounging on the doughnut, in the water. She already knows she looks like a damn tasty snack in this suit, so it will be an undoubtedly good shot for the episode intro.

     Next out is Bambadjan, who is carrying a tray of cool beers, and sets them on the poolside bar.   
He’s in a pair of red swim trunks with little white palm trees decorating them. He seems nice enough, Eleanor thinks, and rather attractive to boot. Though not exactly her type, it’s not as though she’s got a lot to pick from right now. Granted, she hasn’t had a date in months, but it’s the principle of the thing. 

She’s not really that into anyone yet but she’s pretty darn good at feigning interest in guys. And if you want to make waves on reality tv, you need a good love interest. 

     “Dude, beer me!” she shouts, and Bambadjan obediently chucks a Bud Lite to her. Screw Jason, Bambadjan is her new favorite. 

Opening the tab with a ‘pop’, she floats in the sun for a moment, and is thankful that she’s wearing sunglasses. It’s much easier to ignore people if they can’t meet your eyes.

She lets herself start to doze, as she waits for the others to join them.

_      Bleh. It’s hella boring sitting around… When will the actual drama start? _

She’s under no illusions. Just because they don’t have a script doesn’t mean they don’t know what they signed up for. 

     It also doesn’t mean that she can’t ‘accidentally’ start something. If they wanted nice, they wouldn’t have chosen her.  Every good wrestling troup needs a proper heel, and in tv, any attention is good attention.

  
  


Maybe tonight she’ll get drunk and let a few comments out about stuff she’s overheard. 

 

     And, if she’s hears nothing? She’ll just make something up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, we'll have another pool scene soon.   
> Next up: Panel time with our hosts!  
> and then, everyone's favorite,
> 
> Costco!


	3. Costco has Many Meanings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Half the house has a very good day.  
> The other half does not.   
> And the people manning the samples station? The worst of them all.  
>  or
> 
> The Costco Trip.

 “Well, there’s nothing here.” Eleanor says as she and Jason stare into their empty fridge. 

It’s completely bare, save for a few packs of beer and a bottle of wine. Apparently, the producers expect them to live the authentic roommate life, and that includes grocery shopping. 

 

    “Aww man!!” Jason moans, then perks up as he explains, “I hoped the fridge would be one of those super cool ones, like, you put in an order and it just makes the food itself? Like ‘poof’! You’d have hot wings. I saw that on a travel show once.” He nods his head authoritatively.

 

    Eleanor scrunches up her face as she tries to interpret what Jason just said. 

“Are… are you thinking of Star Trek?” she finally guesses. 

 

    “Yeah! That show where they show off outer space! I like it better than Property Brothers.”

 

    “Well, since we don’t have one of those,” Eleanor begins, “why don’t we go grocery shopping? It can be like, a bonding activity or whatever.”

   They agree, and set to work making a list of the essentials. Or instead, Bambadjan and Chidi do, with the others chiming in on their favorites. 

    Once it’s all settled, pile into the SUV and head out to Costco.

  
  


    After about a 15 minute drive, they finally manage to grab a parking spot at Costco, and unload. 

    “So,” Eleanor says as she addresses the group “We have two lists, so let’s divide into two teams. Team one will be me, Jason, and Bambadjan.” 

    “More like team fun!” shouts Bambadjan, and gives a cheering Jason a high five. 

“Team two will be Tahani, Chidi, and Vicky. Everybody got that?” 

Everyone nods and Eleanor glances at her team with a grin.

    “Then LET’S GO!” she shouts as she and Jason take off full sprint towards the shopping carts, cackling the whole way. A grinning Bambadjan chases after them. 

Team one was off to a great start.

  
  


     Team two was  _ not  _ off to a great start. 

“This building is absolutely dreadful?” Tahani complains with an impressive pout. 

    “It’s positively barbaric! All the concrete reminds me of the time my friend Kanye and I played zombie apocalypse laser tag in a repurposed abandoned warehouse. I refuse to enter this horrible place.”

    Vicky can’t imagine Tahani playing laser tag, but she doesn’t doubt that Tahani would be an intimidating sight. With her clear height advantage, and her probably top of the line gun, who wouldn’t want her on their team. Although, she still can’t figure out if Tahani is lying or not with her constant name dropping. 

     Meanwhile, Tahani turns on her heel and marches away. 

    “I’m going to the nail salon next door, call me when you're done. My polish is simply dreadful, I did it yesterday and it doesn’t match today’s skirt.” Tahani calls to them as she walked to the shop. 

     Vicky rolls her eyes and goes to grab a cart, while Chidi just stands there, brow furrowed, having missed the whole exchange when he went to grab the list. They haven’t even entered the store, and team two’s already down one member. Also, Chidi’s stomach is in knots, but what else is new. So to save time, he and Vicky decide to work together to tackle their list of kitchen essentials. 

     Flashing their Costco Membership cards to the doorman, Vicky wheels their cart over to the aisles. Meanwhile, Chidi looks over their list.

      He gets stuck on the first item: Salsa.

There are about twenty different types, at various price points, ingredients, and flavors. Having spent the last few years as a professor in Australia, he is familiar with only a few of them. 

    His favorite, Richie’s California Style Salsa, is nowhere in sight. It’s a good brand, made locally in Melbourne, and with sustainably sourced produce, and labor. He’s fond of the ‘Mild’ flavor himself.

    Chidi racks his brain as he tries to figure out a flavor that would appeal to the most people in the house. They’re in Hawaii after all, so maybe a mango pineapple salsa would be appropriate? But what if people want a more traditional kind, or if the texture of cooked fruit puts them off. And then they’d have to pretend to like it while they eat it so that they don’t upset him? It would be a disaster. Yes, it’s better to go with something a little more classic. 

     There’s one called Green Mountain Gringo that is rated five stars on Thrillist.com ranking list. However, it does have the Non-GMO Project Verified logo. 

    He’s absolutely against unethical corporations like Monsanto, that have destroyed the reputation of genetically modified products. GMOs aren’t inherently bad themselves; humans have been changing plants and animals to taste and look better almost since we started farming. Does he want to contribute to the idea that GMOs are dangerous by supporting companies and corporations that are helping spread this idea? Is it more ethical to knowingly purchase such an item, in favor of the good of the group? 

    He could buy a few flavors and spice levels and let people decide which one is best. But that could potentially be wasteful. And who would pay for it? They hadn’t yet discussed how they would split the bill. 

    After about two minutes of this, Vicky grabs the list from Chidi’s hand and stalks off. 

“Mmk, I’ll meet up with you in a minute!” He calls after her, not bothering to take his eyes off the wall of salsas in front of him.    
     Meanwhile, Team Fun is having a damn good time

    As soon as she entered the store, Eleanor spotted one of those giant shopping cart platforms that you use to transport like, lumber, or bulk crates of food. 

     Naturally, she hops right on. 

    “Yo dawg, leave room for me!” Jason yells as he runs to join Eleanor on the trolly. She slides over to let Jason on, and they wait excitedly for Bambadjan to catch up to them.

“Hey, Bambadjan!” Eleanor yells, “Push us! Push us!”

    Jason laughs and joins in with Eleanor's chant of “Push us!” 

    Bambadjan may literally be a saint, Eleanor decides, as he just chuckles and starts to push the cart without complaint. 

     Eleanor and Jason are content to ride among the growing pile of groceries and let Bambadjan do all the shopping. 

     Examining her surroundings, Eleanor decides the Costco in Hawaii is apparently like every other Costco she’s ever been to. 

Vast and cavernous, with concrete ceilings, and everything in bulk. Salespeople in crisp white Costco brand polos stand at their free sample stations, offering everything from grape juice to cocktail sauce. 

 

    They begin to make a nice fort out of the food Bambadjan is slowly piling on, boxes and such on the bottom, squishy and breakable items on the top. 

     Flour, granola bars, spaghetti sauce, all pile up into a nice square. 

     Gradually, the trolly is converted to a massive throne. 

“SHOTGUN!!” Eleanor calls as they place the final can of tuna, completing the structure. 

     “Aww man! I wanted shotgun!” Jason pouts. Eleanor sticks her tongue out and pats him on the head. 

    Being Queen of Costco is fun for a while, but then she spots them:

    The free samples. 

     The first sample is some Costco generic brand grape juice. Eleanor and Jason speed over, and have one glass each. When the salesperson’s back is turned, Jason reaches out to snatch another. But before he can grab it, Eleanor holds him back. 

“Just a second Jason, I’ve got a better idea.”

    After she briefs him, they continue on to grab a sample from every single station. 

Then, they make their way over to isle three. 

    Eleanor grabs a ski cap, some sunglasses, and a sweatshirt that said: “Get Lei’d!”.

     Jason put on a shirt decorated with tiny parrots, and turned his hat so it was backward. 

They grin at each other, they’re ready. 

 

    “Ope! Excuse me!” Eleanor says in a thick Midwestern accent, as she ‘accidentally’ bumps into the grape juice sample stand. 

    “Ooh! I’ll take one of these, thank you!” Eleanor says in her same sweet tone, and takes a paper cup full of grape juice. 

    The person running the stand gives her a blank look, but doesn’t move to stop Eleanor from taking a glass. 

    As Eleanor meanders off towards the next stand, Jason walks up in his ‘disguise’.

   “Hello”, Jason says as he approaches the table.

    “My name is… Jason MANdoza” says Jason as he looks dramatically off into the distance.

   “I’m Jason Mendoza's twin brother, and I would like some of the grape juice please.”

    Unimpressed, the employee looks up at Jason for a few seconds, but sighs and hands him a glass of grape juice. 

 

    Eventually, they reach the only stand they haven’t hit up a second time. It’s a station that is sampling Costco brand flour tortilla chips. While Jason is dazzling the employee with his elaborate backstory, Eleanor just grabs the whole bowl of chips and hightails it out of there.

    On her way out, she meets Chidi, still trying to decide on the perfect salsa.

    He’s narrowed it down to two. Option one; Totino’s Chunky and Mild salsa, and option two; Newman’s Own, Mild Organic salsa. 

    “Thanks bro!” She says as she grabs both jars from his hands, and continues on her way out of the store. 

    Having shed the clothes she had ‘borrowed’ from aisle three, the combination of her sunglasses, brisk pace, and ‘don’t fuck with me’ attitude prevent anyone from stopping her as she marches right out of the store. 

    She lets herself into the unlocked SUV, and settles down for a well-deserved car nap.

 

     Vicky is pissed. Tahani is a spoiled brat who refused to come in, and Chidi is useless.

She spent an entire damn hour, getting literally everything on their list, asking employees for speciality items, and hauling huge bags off of high shelves. At one point, an entire shelf of cereal fell on her. Because Jason HAD to have his captain crunch, which was the second highest shelf. Great. 

    As she makes her way back to the front to check out, she runs back into Chidi. Still in front of the salsa. He seems to be talking frantically to Bambadjan, who is nodding sympathetically. Jason is sitting on some sort of constructed throne on the industrial shopping cart and is munching on a handful of tortilla chips.  

    She forces a smile to her face. 

    “Hey boys! Ready to check out?”

    “Yeah, but there’s this issue, Eleanor-”

     But Vicky has had enough. Without breaking her smile, she walks over to Chidi, grabs the jars of salsa in his hands, and puts them in the cart. 

    “We good here?”

Bambadjan shoots her a grateful smile and pulls Chidi towards the checkout. Together, they make their way to the front of the store. 

    “So how are we gonna split the payment?” Vicky asks the group.

    “Oh sorry dawg, I don’t have any money.” Jason says apologetically.

    “Why would you come to the store and not bring any money?” Chidi asks. “Did you forget your wallet? That would be understandable.”

    “Oh nah, I mean I just don’t have any money.” Jason says with a shrug. 

“How are we going to split this equitably then!?” Chidi asks, growing increasingly agitated. “Should we have him pay us back later? Or would it be best just to cover it this time? And then how would we split it up among the remaining people? Not everyone would use the same amount of food, but maybe we should split it evenly since we’ll all have access to it?” 

    At this point, Chidi has begun pacing back and forth in the checkout lane and is no longer addressing the group, in favor gesticulating wildly at the floor.

 

    Vicky rolls her eyes up to the ceiling, counts to three, and pulls out her credit card. 

She better get some major screen time for this.

    The crew all meets up at the SUV. Jason and Bambadjan climb into the back seat with a now awake Eleanor, and Tahani sits in one of the two middle seats, careful buckling up with her new deep red nails. Or more specifically, ‘Life is a Cabernet’, by OPI. 

    Chidi hops in the passenger seat, and Vicky drives them home.

    The car is eerily silent. Everyone is carefully looking anywhere but at each other, or pretending to look at their phone. Of course, that is aside from Banbadjam, Eleanor, and Jason. They’re in the back seat happily munching on a bowl of chips and a jar of salsa.

   Tahani looks around, purses her lips, and decides not to ask.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> Thank you for being so patient.   
> I won't drone on about my life, but a few obstacles got in the way of this fic.
> 
> But I'm back! And very excited to see where this fic heads to. 
> 
> Obligatory thank you note, but every comment and kudos I see makes me so happy, and I appreciate them so much!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this, and every comment means so much to me!
> 
> Please let me know if there are any errors, and I’ll fix them right away.
> 
> Please tell me what you liked or didn’t like, any constructive criticism is more than welcome!
> 
> Or if you don’t have much to say, just a ‘thanks! Loved it!’ is super appreciated. 
> 
> Thanks again,
> 
> \- Bee.


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